Wanderlust

Wanderlust. If I am honest with myself, that word is the summative reason for me boarding a plane approximately one month ago, meeting up with a small team of strangers, and finding myself living alongside the locals of Nauta, Peru. Wanderlust explains why even though I am already in a foreign country, my mind drifts to the other African plains I want to visit, the new faces I could see, the new smells, new kinds of earthly paradises I could come across, new relationships that will be built…the list goes on.

I am a restless soul. And if I could describe that restless feeling, it would be through these lyrics: “I know there’s California, Oklahoma and all of these places I ain’t ever been to but down in the valley of whiskey rivers, these are the places you will find me hiding; these are the places I will always be.” If you want to find me, find me in the places I ain’t ever been to. Find me wandering in different places, but in each place, find a piece of me that I leave behind. Because I promise this: I am not wandering aimlessly. Not all who wander are lost.

As much as I came on this trip because of wanderlust, I came because I was searching. Now if you have heard some stories you would think, “So that rainstorm shower, that plumbing problem, that motorcar ride where you essentially got out and had to run home in the mud, those crazy market days you walk through, those people who wave dead chickens in your face, are those things fulfilling your search? Is that what you were looking for?” And I would reply, “Heck no!”

I am searching for passion. I am searching for joy. I am searching for something timeless and infinite.
Let me first share a quick revelation I had the other day. I was going through the every day struggle of trying to communicate with some Peruvian friends. Believe me, it is maddening. So often I expect them to understand me in my fast English, oh and apparently repeating everything in English several times will really illuminate some kind of meaning for them. Not. But it was during one of those struggles in conversation that I panicked. I worried that because of the language barrier, I could never have a conversation deeper than, “What’s your favorite color?” I mean, if that question had some eye-opening, soul defining meaning behind it, thousands of people would ask it more as well as take the question more seriously. But your favorite color is your favorite color. It is not your soul. And their soul, their thoughts, their heart, that is what I want to know. But as I thought about it, I realized that me not speaking Spanish offered me the opportunity of showing them I cared, showing them that I loved them through my actions. Love is not communicated just through words. Love is squeezing a child’s shoulder, painting a little girl’s nails, star gazing with our faithful little neighbor up by our water tower, and accepting a watermelon from a friend. Love is playing late card games with two dear brothers in Christ, reading the Bible in terrible Spanish to a Peruvian woman who was falling asleep, and incessantly calling the name of that one boy to drive h crazy but also to let him know that he might be your favorite and that you see him specifically among all the other children. And to divert from my story, that is when I realized what I was really searching for. I was obsessed with letting people know in some way that I loved them. And more importantly, I wanted the love I showed them to reflect and point to the love God has for them. And I realized, I was searching for God’s love. It has no limits-no limits to its depth nor its manifestations. And I was seeking ways to demonstrate it to them. But in order to be able to show it to them, I had to understand it. I am not saying that I have a perfect grasp or understanding of His love. I am saying, however, that not all who wander are lost. Though I am wandering, and though my wandering may look fruitless, I am searching. God’s love can be revealed through me, but it also can be revealed through the people I love. So though I love to wander, I wander in search of His love. Wanderlust.